Thursday, March 10, 2011

Being Presumptuous

When Brett played football, each summer, he and his teammates flew to Wisconsin for a month of training camp. Any football wife can attest to the fact that this is the absolute worst month. The players work so hard, for so many hours that they get about 10 minutes (if that) to talk on the phone each day to their spouse.

It is brutal. Definitely for the players but also for their families back home. Many people, namely military wives and families, have it much, much harder, but even still, it's hard!

The summer Brett and I were engaged was my first experience with training camp. He left a few weeks after he proposed. During that time, I lived with my parents because I was working for my dad to save up money to buy Brett's wedding ring.

The story of how God brought Brett and I together made no sense apart from realizing that God rarely makes sense (my life is proof of that). Long story short, I never thought Brett would like me, so when my parents asked about him, I pretended I didn't like him. Then, one day, we start dating, then three months later, we're engaged. My protective Dad did not know what to make of us. (My parents are amazing, and truthfully, without knowing the full story, it would have been confusing).

Because I had some time on my hands and because I am a planner, one day I had the idea to take some winter clothes to Brett's house. That way, when I'd come up to visit, I could just take my clothes from his house to my hotel rather have to fly with them each time (I still lived in FL minus the month at my parents').

That night, during our five minute nightly conversation, I asked Brett if he minded if I brought my winter clothes to his house.

His response, "Don't you think that's being a little presumptuous?"

"Huh?" is about all I could muster up.

"Nevermind, you can bring them that's fine."

"How is that being presumptous?"

"It's fine. Just bring them."

We got off the phone shortly.


How could he call me presumptuous? I looked at the ring on my finger which screamed anything BUT presumptuous. After all, he had asked ME to marry HIM. Has my worst fear been realized? Does he not love me like I love him? Are we still engaged? Should I stop telling people I'm getting married?

The next morning, he called. During our five minute conversation, I asked, "Could we talk about what you said last night?"

He responded, "It was a total lack of faith. I'm sorry. I was just unsure of the future, but I just need to have faith."

He sounded convincing so I let it go. But as the day went on, "unsure" and "presumptuous" and "lack of faith" just kept running through my head.

I wanted him to be a little more convinced that he wanted to marry me.

At dinner that night, my dad, in very bad timing, asked me, "Are you sure Brett likes you?" Not only had our courtship confused my parents, but we did not kiss until I became Mrs. Williams, which further confused my parents (rightfully so, especially since I did not exactly share how very difficult it was remain pure!).

I cried and cried and cried and cried and get the point.

That had been the absolute worst day of my life up until that point. It was HORRIBLE. Horrible is an understatement, actually.

Awaiting Brett's call that night, I knew I had to talk to him. I needed a better explanation to why he was, all of a sudden, unsure if he wanted to marry me.

When he called, the first thing out of my mouth was, "How sure are you that you want to marry me?"

His response: "I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life."

Me: "Then, why did you say I was being presumptuous to bring my winter clothes to your house?"

Brett (in a very apologetic tone): "I meant you were being presumptuous that I'd be living in Kansas City. I am not sure if I will get cut or not (he didn't). If I get cut, I'd have to move. But I know it was a lack of faith; I'll be in Kansas City." And he went on to tell me how much he loves me and how sure he is that he wanted to marry me.

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. Going from unsure if we were still engaged to hearing how much he adored me was quite a change of emotions!

My dad thought his response was SO kind that he started realizing that we actually did like each other after all!

I tell you this story'll have to wait and see!


  1. What? Seriously, you're going to leave it like that? That's not very nice! :) Fun story. That must have been one looooooong day!

  2. You're evil! (To end the story the way you did.)


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