Brett bought our first house before we were ever dating. I absolutely loved our first home. I remember the first time I came to visit Brett when we were dating, I was really nervous that I would walk into a house full of black lacquer furniture with gold trim. I pictured Brett as having the ultimate bachelor pad, but I was very fortunate...his aunt, who had great taste, helped him buy his furniture! Even so, Brett wouldn't have actually bought awful furniture...he does have good taste, as well.
When we got married, I moved right in. That house held so many memories for me, which I believe I have chronicled on my blog before. Moving in as a newlywed and bringing home three babies meant that most every memory I have of my family happened in that house. I have sentimental memories, and I also have a lot of learning experience memories. Such as learning that I'll never own a dog again.
When God called us to move to south Florida, I wanted to buy immediately. Even though we didn't know the area, I really wanted to own again. We actually put an offer on a house that was denied (and a year later, the house is still on the market, but we can see clearly how God had better plans for us). Because of the timing of our house selling, we decided to rent.
God, in His goodness, provided a fabulous rental. It has some kinks at the beginning, but the house we got was amazing compared to others in the same price range.
What I didn't realize is how much I would dislike renting.
I am a busy body. I love to do, do, do. I love small scale home projects. I love organizing. I love painting. I really like to make a house a home. I am not a talented decorator, nor do I have a ton of money to spend....but I do love to personalize my home. All things that are either hard to do or pointless to do in a rental home. Added to the fact that we have too much furniture, but since we will eventually buy, we don't want to get rid of anything.
For months, I have been looking on the internet for homes. We've probably viewed 10 homes. We cannot find anything we like. South Florida homes are just not built for families with more than 2 kids. Finding a four bedroom home in our price range is hard. We want one more child, and while I am perfectly fine with kids sharing rooms, I want a play room or office or something. I was becoming discouraged but refusing to give up.
A few nights ago, I had a dream (God speaks to me through dreams sometimes) that the check to pay for our home was coming but it was not here yet. I got the sense from the dream that I needed to wait. Which I did not want to hear. Then the next day, in passing, a dear friend said that God was probably teaching me to not have to have everything planned out. Which I also did not want to hear.
But it was true. So as much as I really really want to own a home, I can tell that this is not the right timing. The right timing could be next month or five years from now. I am not giving up hope, but I am trusting God that He will bring the perfect house in the perfect timing. God is always so faithful to us, and historically, He provides above and beyond what we could ever dream....so the good news is that God is always good. So I am not worried about it. But I am working hard to be content!! I am not discontent with our rental; I am discontent with renting. I just want my house to be mine. So I am working on my attitude!!
I am trusting God. I wanted to document this, though, because I love going back through and remembering how I felt at a time when circumstances looked bleak....but then seeing God come through!!