One downfall, however, of blogging is the misconception of people's lives. Blog writers get to tell their stories the way they want. I am just as guilty of this as anyone. I do feel that the life I live behind closed doors is consistent with the life I live in public, but I do not necessarily share everything on my blog. I keep it light and upbeat here. My heart behind keeping the "voice" of this blog positive is multi-faceted:
- One day when my kids read my blog, I want them to relive happy, fun memories
- I am, by nature, a glass half full kind of girl....so I always try to find the positive in situations
- Occasionally, I read back through my archives. When I am having a bad day, it always lifts my spirits!
However, in leaving out the ugly side of my life, I sometimes feel like my life seems perfect....when it is not. My life IS wonderful. God has blessed my beyond measure. I have an amazing husband, awesome kids, and am living the life I've always dreamed about. But, it is not perfect.
I yell at my kids more often than I'd like.
I have a tendency to work too much around the house when I should be focusing on them (whoever said that dust will always be there but kids won't was right...but also probably did not enjoy an orderly home as much as I do).
I let my kids eat too much junk food.
I just bought them bicycle helmets last week (they've been riding without until now).
Playing imaginary games is pretty boring to me. (I do love physical stuff, like chasing them around, hugging them, wrestling, etc...but pretend play is taxing!)
I am inconsistent with discipline.
Just this week, I felt like the world was ending and was less than kind to those around me. It took me two days to snap out of my funk!
That is just the start!
When my daughter is a mom one day, I won't lie to her and pretend like every day is a walk in the park. As she navigates motherhood, I will be open about the struggles and frustrations. Yet, the written legacy I leave will be one of joy and encouragement. That does not mean everyone should do the same; that is just the voice I feel is important to record.
But I don't want my dear friends to believe the lie that I have it all together. Or that my children are exceptionally obedient. Or that my marriage is flawless.
Like everyone else, I am a work-in-progress. I pray a lot. I ask my children and husband to forgive me a lot (just ask Caleb; he declared I have been mean for the last 59,100 days). I am growing but I have so far to go.
I felt compelled to write this post, so I hope you are encouraged that, as women, life can be hard. Sure, it may not be as hard as some people have it....but it is still hard. Raising kids, especially with a perspective that is counter-culture, is tough! But we are all in this together!!
As a disclaimer: I do not necessarily focus on the negative things on my blog (which, let me emphasize that I just feel that is my goal, but it is not for everyone...maybe God has called you to be extremely open and share the daily struggles), but I do have a couple of very close friends in who I confide in with everything!! I don't make it a public thing, but I do share with a few close friends.
Blogging is wonderful, but absolutely nothing can replace face-to-face, consistent friendships with people near you....friends that see thru the "everything's fine" facade (when things aren't fine)...friends who will sympathize with you and share their hardships....friends who will also rejoice with you when life is awesome.
Lastly, I love to know you, sweet readers! I would love to hear from you. I enjoy e-mailing (sarahw56 (at) gmail (dot) com), so if you have questions or feedback, I'd love to hear it! In personal conversations, I am much more transparent. It is not that I do not think we should share our struggles....I just don't want to do it on my blog. But I am great to do it in a more personal forum.
Anyway, this is getting long. Love you all!! Thanks for reading and giving such gracious feedback :)