Fear vs. Protecting

Warning: this is sort of a heavy post.

I struggle with the tension between protecting my children and becoming fearful.

On the one hand, God has given me (and Brett) these precious gifts to steward with excellence and much love. Though I am 100% confident that God is their ultimate protector, I do feel like it is still my responsibility to do my part to ensure they're safe.

Already, I have countless stories of "if it weren't for God's protection, that could have gone way worse"....small incidences that could have been bigger incidences "if" (fill in the blank with the small way God protected). So I am absolutely certain He is so faithful.

But I struggle with the part I play.

I want my children to have a gloriously fun, innocent, lovely childhood. I want them to stay up late talking with their friends. I want them to be adventurous. I want them to get dirty. I want them to laugh. I want them to have "clubs" and feel a part of something greater than themselves, even if it is just a fictitious dream.

But I have heard enough horror stories that I am just nervous about letting them be free. I don't want them to miss out on the wonder of childhood because I am afraid of the "what if's", but I also don't want to let them out in this world defenseless.

My kids are not yet to the age of slumber parties, riding their bike around the neighborhood, going to the mall with friends, etc. Maybe that is the problem: I am imagining my tender 5 year old facing temptations that won't come for many years (instead of realizing that, against my desire, he will actually grow up).

I don't really have a solution. More of a "putting this out there, hoping for an answer" kind of blog today.

In deciding to homeschool my kids (for now), that has been birthed out of feeling called to do it. I know that is not a fearful decision. Just as deciding to stay home was a calling, not a fear-based decision. I grew up in daycare and the public school system, and I can truly say that it was not detrimental to me at all. I actually sometimes feel bad my kids will miss some of the highlights of school (though, they will probably eventually be in tradition school). I felt very loved by my parents. I had lots of friends that I enjoyed. As an adult, I can look back and see some friendships were precarious, but at the time, nothing bad came of them. My childhood was wonderful. I wouldn't go back and change anything.

Maybe I am overthinking this. But then I wonder: maybe times have changed.

I guess that with each stage of life, God will confirm His will for my children, on an as needed basis. I hope so!

The problem is that, as I have grown older and heard many people's life stories, few people escaped childhood unharmed. Too many children have experienced the horror of sexual abuse. A friend of mine, who I would have trusted any of my children with, plead guilty to many counts of sexual abuse. Truthfully, that was probably a crossroads that led me to trusting people less than I used to.

I don't want one person's darkness to overshadow the abundant life God has promised, yet I hear of it too often.

UGH! I don't know! I just know I want to be full of faith, but not stupid.

I guess the answer is to trust my children's steps to the Lord, knowing He never promised a trouble-free life....yet trusting He is faithful.

Still....what is my part??

I don't expect anyone to know the answer, but feel free to weigh in on my dilemma :).