Friday, April 27, 2012

Because No One Actually Asked

I am 32 weeks pregnant, so I suppose I shall update you all on my pregnancy.

To give an accurate description of where I am at, I shall directly quote something Brett told his friend, "I have always wanted five children, but after seeing Sarah go through this pregnancy and the toll it's taken, I cannot in good faith ask her to get pregnant again."  (For the record, I am not saying my family is complete, but I do believe my biological family is complete. Adoption is definitely on the table.....down the road.)

This pregnancy has been really hard.  People (namely my friend, Ashlie) have had much more difficult pregnancies, but as mine go, this one has been rough.  You know that feeling you have the last 2-3 weeks of pregnancy....where you feel like the world might end, you are so big you can barely move, and sleeping is a distant memory?!?!  I have been there since about week 30.  When I think of having 7 more weeks, I get pretty overwhelmed.

I just am not myself, and that is what I hate the worst.  I am impatient, critical, easily frustrated, easily offended, etc.  I recognize my behavior but have had a hard time changing.  It's frustrating.

My body is also just physically tired, which makes me mentally tired.  I am swollen and just really big (the biggest I have ever been).

This is my list of complaints.  BUT, I am SOOOO thankful for my growing, awesome baby boy.  I am beyond thankful for the gift of life God has blessed me with.  I know many women who would love to change places with me.  So, for that, I am very grateful.  Despite my major discomfort and hormonal issues, I am so thankful for my baby.  In 7 weeks, I will probably never be pregnant again.  I am sure in a few years, that will be make me sad, but for now, I am very, very grateful for my 4 babies that I treasure so deeply.  And I am definitely wishing the next 7 weeks to fly by :).

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