I keep not finding the time to blog. I want these memories of the first few months of Levi's life to be etched in the history books, because experience tells me I won't remember much of it :(.
My kids love watching home videos. We watched one from 2009 recently. It was so sad to me to see how much I did not remember about my kids at that age. I don't remember Caleb learning to talk and how he butchered so many words (because he speaks well now). I don't remember how little they were or how Chloe danced at that age. I am so thankful for home videos and wish I took so many more. When I watch old ones, I am fully aware of how fast time passes and how quickly kids change.
Levi is almost six weeks old. He still is very much a newborn....wakes up 3-4 times a night to eat. He likes to be held all of the time (unless he is sleeping, and he only enjoys sleeping swaddled in his crib). He has baby acne and spits up after most feedings. He rarely poops out of his diaper, which I appreciate, so he has not yet ruined any clothes! Levi is such a sweet, easy baby. His cry sounds like a pig squealing, but he does not cry often....just when he is awake and wants to be held.
My kids are so amazing. Each day I am in wonder of their awesomeness. God is such an amazing designer.....He made parenting so incredibly challenging yet so incredibly rewarding. My kids are an absolute joy. Even in their disobedience and bad attitudes, they're usually so comical that I even enjoy that (not always but sometimes).
It is such a cool feeling to know when your family is complete....at least biologically. We talk of adoption down the road. I am not sure if we will do that or not. We do not yet feel called to it, but I can see that one day we may add to our family through adoption. Either way, our biological family is complete. And that is such a great feeling. My friend, Allison, commented to me on Facebook tonight about this fact....how before your family is full, you don't understand how people know they're done. Yet when you know you're done, you know. The moment I held Levi the first time, my immediate thought was "it's finished; this is the last time I will hold my baby for the first time."
There really is not one part of me that is sad about that. While I absolutely adore watching my kids grow, I am excited to be moving forward in life. It's no small secret pregnancy is not my favorite. I am soooo thankful God has abundantly blessed me, but I am also thankful I do not have to walk through another difficult 9 months. I am so much nicer when I am not pregnant, and I like that my kids will know the not-pregnant me from now on. Clearly, I still have ugly moments more often than I'd like, but when pregnant, the whole nine months is pretty ugly.
I feel like the side effects to this pregnancy further confirm my decision to be done (disclaimer: if God calls me to have a 5th child, I would do it...I am not denying hearing from God....but I truly do feel like I will never be pregnant again). Physically, since giving birth, I have had one problem after another.
A few days before Levi was born, I developed PUPPPS....basically, I had an untreatable allergic-type reaction and broke out in a rash similar to hives. It happens to 2% of people and usually clears up in a few days....mine lasted 2 weeks (and actually cleared up when I was worshipping to the song "Healer", which was so cooler).
Then, I developed severe dry skin (in the Florida July humidity). After that, I got a fever blister on my lip (which I get about every 6 years). I also have continued sciatic pain on my backside.
With other pregnancies, I never had any of this.....and for almost 6 weeks, I have had one miserable ailment after another (though nothing serious, just irritating).
It just serves to confirm I AM DONE! Woo hoo!!!
Ok, I have more to write (apparently, once I get started, I don't quit). But I am realllllly tired and want to go to bed (though Levi will need to eat anytime now).