Neurosis

Since giving birth to Caleb over six years ago, I have been a fairly neurotic mom when it comes to leaving my children in the care of others.  I am not sure if this was a conviction from God (I think it mostly was/is) or me just being mistrusting of the world because I witnessed a lot of hurt at the hands of "trusted adults" (not to myself but to friends and those I've talked with during years of ministry).  Either way, I have been very cautious with what I will allow my kids to do and not do.

Choosing to homeschool is a component of this, though not one of the top reasons.  Guarding family time is a big reason, but not trusting the world is not as much.  Regardless, I just have not allowed my kids to do just anything through the years.  Fortunately, Brett and I have awesome family members, friends, and a couple of babysitters we trust wholeheartedly....so I definitely get breaks from my kids.  I am not THAT neurotic :).

As my kids are getting older, though, I am feeling the nudge to loosen the reigns a bit.  It started with Caleb getting invited to his first drop off party, which was at the house of one of my dearest friends.  Then, he attended a boys Bible club at the same friends' house (she is an amazing mom and hosts a super cool club for a few boys...more on that later).  This week, at the school Brett coaches at, the cheerleading squad hosted a cheer camp.  The coach let Chloe come even though she was too young because Brett has shared with her Chloe's love for cheerleading.  We signed her up before I had time to think through it.

I realized through these few things how much life and joy my kids have gotten from them!  They have met new friends, enjoyed new activities, and grown up some because they're on their own.

In thinking about it, I realized that I don't want my own fear to keep my kids from enjoying life to the full.  I do want to honor God's call for me to closely guard my family's time, values, energy, etc.  But I want to also let them enjoy freedom to be away from our family and become their own person.

The world can be so dark and so ugly.  Yet I know that it is God who is absolute control.  No matter how much I protect my little flock, they are HIS children and HE is the only One who actually has any power to protect them.  But I also realize that sheltering them from every single thing will not serve them well in life at all.  The world is dark, and it is ugly....but they need to learn how to navigate through.

I do not have this figured out, obviously.  But I am excited to tangibly feel God leading me into a different season with Caleb and Chloe.  It is always reassuring to be entering a new season of life and feel God closely leading.  I tend to think ahead to seasons I will be in one day and tend to freak out how I will make it through (the main one is how I will homeschool long term), yet this week I have been reminded that God supplies the grace on an as needed basis.

God is so good, isn't He?

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from you!

Popular posts from this blog

The Book I May or May Not Write

I have the nicest friends in the world.  When I write a short, quippy thing my kid said on Facebook, my very nicest friends will say, "I can't wait for you to write a book." I sort of feel like people are American Idoling me....you know, encouraging me to do something I'm passionate about even though I am not really good at it---never thinking I would actually have the audacity to pursue it---but then they're in too deep with the lie....but even so, those comments make me feel good.  (Which is kind of weird, possibly narcissistic, because it's actually my kids being entertaining, and not my words.  Yet I press on.) I wrote for 31 days straight in October, and I discovered maybe I am not so good at writing more than 2 sentences at a time.  So I decided maybe writing a book wasn't in my future. But then I spent a lot of time thinking during November and realized that, even if no one reads what I write, I think it would be really fun to put into words w...
Read more

Another Child One Day

Going back through my posts, I realized I had a few blogs I wrote but never published. One is when I was wavering between adopting or birthing our fourth child. One thing is for sure: our family is not complete. I cannot explain that other than I just know. For awhile there, I was strongly contemplating adopting, but for now, I am leaning more towards birthing the last child. In fact, I am most certain, God willing, that is what our plans are. We are trying to decide when to try to have a baby. And by "try", I mean get pregnant. I have many weaknesses, but fertility is not one of them. In case you can't tell. Our kids are fairly close, so one part of me wants to get pregnant in about 9-10 months....and be done. Forever!! But another part of me wonders if I should take a longer break. See, I have this really weird feeling (that is probably not going to happen) that I will have twins. For one, Brett has always wanted five kids, and I only want four. Things jus...
Read more

Christmas Traditions

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Along with pretty much everyone else, this is my most favorite holiday. As my children age, it just keeps getting better and better!! Establishing traditions is one of my goals during the holiday season. I am a sentimental person, and I am hopeful my kids will grow up with fond memories of their childhood Christmases. Most, if not all, of my traditions are not original. I glean ideas from others and make it my own. The Happy Home Fairy is a wonderful resource for making your holiday magical. The Williams Family traditions: - We stay home for Christmas. We travel during the holiday break, but for Christmas Eve and Day, we are home. To be honest, this was hard to do because I know family members on both sides want to see our kids, but I wanted to do what was best for our family. We welcome anyone who wants to come visit on Christmas, so we are great to have others in our home. And there are many reasons we choose to stay home. ...
Read more