Monday, August 20, 2012

Seasons of Life

In most ways, I absolutely love the season of life I am in.  My kids are awesome ages.  I have a sweet baby to snuggle.  My kids are pretty easy, compared to what others experience.  Brett and I enjoy one another immensely.  We have a house we love, in an area we love, doing what we love.  Our extended families are wonderful.  Life is good.  God is so, so good.  

Probably the only part of this season of life that I struggle with is that I feel like my house looks like a daycare.  And I am having a hard time embracing it.  Truly, because my decorating budget is minuscule, my house does not look how I want it to look, anyway (outdated kitchen/bathrooms, old or cheap furniture {not all of it, just some of it}, etc).  I have done my best with what I could.  I don't actually mind the outdated and cheap stuff, because I am so thankful for my house (it's peaceful, a great floor plan, beautiful outside, and overall a huge blessing).  
But this year, as I am homeschooling two kids, have a toddler, and a baby, I realized that choosing function over form would make our days incredibly smoother.  And it has.  It totally has.  We homeschool in our front room.  Instead of being confined to a small office, we have a big work, have impromptu dance parties, create works of art, and enjoy life together.  There's a big window to enjoy the beautiful scenery.  My kids play in there constantly (and before, went in there only on occasion).  Making it a functional space has made it so much better for all of us.  But it isn't pretty, at all.  It kinda annoys me because I like organized, beautiful things.  But, as I looked around my house, it no longer is beautiful and organized.  Kids bedrooms are well lived in (read: messy but fun).  Our kitchen is only clean if the kids are in bed.  I do try to keep my bedroom a kid-free sanctuary (though it is often littered with toys).  And our main living area has nice furniture (from Brett's football days) and I have worked to make it beautiful.  So, while there are parts of my house that are serene (sometimes), overall, it's just.....lived in.

I think part of my annoyance is that I want praise from friends.  I want that house where people say, "Wow, she has four kids but you would never know it."  But that is just not my reality.

But this is the house growing up was THE BEST!  I loved home, and there was no place I would rather have been.  Growing up in my house was fun, and it was awesome.  When I think back, it's because we were allowed to live in our house.  It was a beautiful and very nice house, but my parents valued their children over their stuff (or the beauty).  Probably 95% of the friends my parents had then are no longer in their lives, so if they had worked hard to impress others, it would have been pointless, in the end.  They worked hard to make their kids' lives full, and those memories still last with the people who actually matter.  

As I think of the kids I want to raise, I want them to love home.  I want them to always feel welcome, loved, and secure.  I want them to play freely and love life.  

So, given the size of my home, I have a choice: to impress people or let my kids live.  

You would think it would be easy, but a beautiful, simple home isn't just to impress, it also is something I, myself, love.  So I would very much enjoy a perfect home.  But, as with most of life, it is not about me :).  

If you come to my house, you will not be impressed.  But I can assure you my kids will put on an awesome dance show, draw you a picture, and bring joy to your heart.  

And, when they're grown, you can come over and have coffee in my picture perfect house :).  And then read my blog future blog post, titled: I Will Gladly Take All The Mess Back If My Kids Would Just Be Little Again.      

1 comment:

  1. I can understand this completely...and I only have one kiddo. Our dining room is a play room, the coffee table was replaced with a train table, there is a basketball goal the middle of it all. Add in a few zillion other is what it is! And as long as Lane is
    happy, right now that is all that matters. What you said at the end is so true. We are going to be wishing for this mess one day!


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